In our wandering, we ultimately find that that which we are seeking has been with us all along. Pursuing us as we seemingly aimlessly wander about chasing some ideal vision that we have contrived for ourselves about what Spirit is. If we like lost children simply turn around and stop, we can realize the experience we have been longing for, the aching driving force that propels us to keep seeking, can be found as simply as just turning around.
Why has Spirit appeared to be hiding from us? Because the seeking is good for us, the wanting to go home to find our true home is good for us. When we reach the place that nothing attracts us like shiny things sought in the sand, we are able to turn our attention to the things that really matter. There we find peace, love and true happiness. There we stop striving and stop trying to fill ourselves with transient things that only bring brief islands of happiness. We realize the ocean of love is what we are longing for and we have to let go to find it, we have to turnaround and find Spirit looking at us – as she has been all along.
I fled Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Rise, clasp My hand, and come!”
Halts by me that footfall:
Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstretched caressingly?
“Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me.”
~ From “the Hound of Heaven” Francis Thompson
Photo credit: Photograph by Sebastian Meckelmann