No one asks me really. Pretty much everyone thinks of me as a religious person, maybe even spiritual person, but they seem unaware of why. They don’t seem to feel the urgency I feel to complete this journey or to at least make sure that the path I am on is indeed the correct one. I can’t say that I am on a journey to “save” myself – maybe I should be, but that doesn’t seem to be the motivation. I can say it is a feeling, a longing I have. I can say it is a feeling that never leaves me even in the busy-ness of life because once there is a pause in the busy-ness I notice it again, it is always right there, calling me.
I thought the other day that my problem with the Church is I don’t trust her. I know people and I don’t trust them. It is very easy to look at the Church’s history and her present and see the signs of human failings. And then I hear this:
18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not prevail against it.
And it gives me solace that in the end the “gates of hell will not prevail”, but how to we be sure right now? So many seeds of doubt out there, so much that doesn’t seem right. So where do I put my faith? To whom do I go?
So again I thought, but I don’t trust the Church, that is my problem…and a small voice immediately came to me that said
Do you trust me?
and I do, so I have to trust that the yearning I feel is not of my doing, that I am being called into communion, into relationship, as we all are. It is whether we take time to hear the call and whether we respond.
I pray we all hear and listen.
Happy Thanksgiving. I am thankful for all of my blessings, my family and all that I have. I pray that everyone is safe and those out to hurt anyone meet Jesus this day and their hearts are changed and softened and they realize violence is not the way.